tremble clef

Monday, October 31, 2005

Future Bible Heroes, "I'm A Vampire" (2002)

I've been invited to a grand total of zero Halloween parties this year. Living in a country where the occasion is not really celebrated might have something to do with that.

Just as well. Even when I was living in the trick-n-treat-obsessed US of A, I was never much for Halloween. In particular, I wasn't a big fan of the dressing up. Many of my friends loved it, of course, what with it being the unoffical Gay Holiday and all. A friend once wanted to go to a party wearing a French beret, and with a bunch of tampons, dyed blue, taped all over his body, until we pointed out that the whole Picasso's Blue Period look was already approaching the status of urban legend and certainly too clichéd by then. Another pal always goes clubbing with his five friends, all of them dressed in identical skimpy gold lamé shorts and angel wings. Given how cold Boston is by the end of October, it's surprising none of them ever put an eye out on an adjoining nipple.

I myself was always one of those annoying people at Halloween parties who wouldn't dress up, and instead stood in the kitchen trying to give off the whole too-cool-for-school vibe. One time I did deign to wear something. Outwardly I was in my regular clothes. When someone called me on it, though, I would announce that I was in fact dressed as a closet transvestite -- and I would lift my pant leg, à la Michael Jackson, to reveal the fishnet stockings I had on underneath. I also lied that I had on women's silk panties, but people, while backing away with vaguely horrified expressions, never asked me to prove it.

"I'm A Vampire": an electropop track from the great Future Bible Heroes album, Eternal Youth, which I still think is the best thing, despite stiff competition from i or 69 Love Songs, Stephin Merritt has ever put out. I love the way the ascending melody makes it seem as if Claudia is singing every line to end in exclamation points. "I'll! Never age and I'll never die! Unlike all the stars in the sky! I'll be young forever, and why! Cause I'm a vampire!" She's a cheery vampire! And why not -- she's survived the Inquisition, and she still looks seventeen. And that spoken bit is too cute. "I have all the love I need, it's your blood I crave! I am a bitch goddess from beyond your grave!"


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