Sara Jorge, "Beautiful World" (2006)

The following are notes from an A&R meeting at a certain record company. (Apologies to Fametracker.)

A&R Exec #1: Okay, gentlemen, what are we going to do about Sara Jorge? "Dirty Business" didn't really do what we wanted. Of course, maybe we should have released it properly rather than just made it a digital thing. We have to relaunch her somehow.

A&R Exec #2: Again? I can't keep up with the number of relaunches. Didn't we already try once with "Shock To The System" before "Dirty Business"?

A&R Exec #3: Aw yeah! I'm always willing to launch and then relaunch her, if you know what I mean.

A&R Exec #4: I think we all do.

#1: In retrospect, "Dirty Business" was probably a mistake. It was too electro, and electropop babes aren't doing too well.

#2: No, we don't want her to be the next Rachel Stevens. Also, the song was shit.

#3: Whachu talkin' about, Willis? I totally would want Sara and Rachel, together, if you know wha --

#2: One Rachel is apparently already one too many, as far as the British recording public is concerned.

#4: Alison Goldfrapp is doing okay, though.

#2: Well, Sara ain't enough of a real-life bitch to make the ice queen persona work.

#1: I think when you release a song called "Dirty Business," you need to convince people you're a little naughty --

#3: I'd totally teach her how to be naug --

#1: -- but that image never came through convincingly. She's way too toothy and had too much lip gloss on her website pics, for one thing.

#3: Yeah! Lip gloss smears! Ha ha ha!

#2: Maybe we should have revamped the website to bring it more in line with that image.

#1: That would've been too logical.

#4: It's easier to remake a real life singer than a website, anyway.

#3: Ho ho ho! I'm very capable of rewriting Sara's html code!

#4: Aren't we ignoring the most obvious angle here, though? Sara's hot. It should be easy to make her a star. Can't we stick her in FHM and let male hormones do the rest?

#3: I'd sap her!

#4: The expression is "tap," you moron.

#3: I'd tap that! And sap her!

#4: Already tapped it.

#3: I tapped yo' mama.

#2: Guys! God.

#1: I think we should forget about the dirtiness schtick, pretend it never happened. I said "dirty schtick," not "dirty stick." Move on. Please. Let's go with "Beautiful World" as the new single. And then she can be styled as a sweet, happy zombie, I mean girl.

#4: Kittens. We should have kittens at the photoshoot.

#2: Maybe we should even retitle the album. Electro Cute would only fit one side of that plan.

#4: Fluffy Cute?

#1: No, just trash the whole Electro Cute thing, go with naming the album after the single.

#2: But then, if the single sinks...

#1: It's not going to sink. Think positive.

#3: I like the switch, guys. She used to be dirty -- she was a WHORE! Now she's clean. A babe in a beautiful new world. She's a VIRGIN!

#4: Yes, we know: you'd tap both.

#2: Are we going to have the Kylie problem, though?

#1: No, we won't have people constantly calling her a weak-ass Kylie clone.

#2: ...

#4: ...

#1: ...

#3: What?

#4: We were just leaving a pause in the conversation for you to jump in to say that you'd tap Kylie.

#3: Sheesh, are you kidding? With all the chemo --

#1: Okay, that's enough. Have some decency, man.

#2: You know we won't be able to control the comparisons. "Dirty Business" really sounded Kyliesque, and "Beautiful World" is pretty close to something like "I Know."

#1: I should hope so. If I'm going to have to blow -- I mean, pay Rob Davis to write Sara a song, it should bloody well sound a little like a good pop song.

#4: It is, it's good. The multi-tracked voices on the chorus are quite nice.

#1: Please. No talk about actual music. This is an A&R meeting.

#4: Um, yeah, anyway, "I Know" was never released, just leaked. People won't immediately make the connection to Kylie.

#3: Someone should have asked me to plug that leak. Then I'd turn her tap on.

#4: There is obviously no end to your plumbing talents.

#3: You don't know the half of it. You should see my nuts and washers.

#4: Washer? I hardly know her!

#3: Hey. Shouldn't I be the one saying the tasteless things?

#4: Yeah, sorry, I got a little confused about my role.