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Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Cassie, "What Do U Want" (2006)

I'm nothing if not a very interactive TV viewer. Watching Law and Order, I cannot resist, during the scene transitions, chiming along with the funny signature sound -- which I've always thought, contrary to the Glarkware T-shirt, doesn't so much go "Chung! Chung!" as it does "Dung-dung!!" I'm so pitch perfect on it. But I'm most uncanny in front of a TV showing Jeopardy! If their sound effects, um, machine is ever broken, I can easily step into its shoes and do the laser-shooting sounds that are emitted each time a contestant lands on a daily double, and no one would ever be the wiser.

"What Do U Want" -- by Cassie, allegedly one of R&B's next great hopes -- features a bouncy pop melody that good Britney might have been proud of, an almost-Indian chiming riff, a rumbling rock guitar that is irresistably propulsive, and, leading into the middle eight rap, a thundering synth part. And there are at least three vocal hooks. They go as follows (roughly): "Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh!" "Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no!" "Yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!" But even these take a backseat to the "woosh!" sound that undergirds the entire record, which you will either find catchily annoying, or annoyingly catchy. Some people may even spend the entire three minutes being unable to stop aping those woosh sounds.

(Preceding the song on the album, by the way, is the funniest track I've heard this year. Sadly, the hilarity is unintentional. In it, Cassie bursts out of the gates and sings: "He said he had fallen so in love with me/And I said 'Ditto, ditto, ditto.' He told me that I'm the only one he could see/And I said 'Ditto, ditto, ditto.'" Get out of my head! I have always dreamt of a day when my profession of love would be met by that reply from the object of my affection. This is HIGHLY HYSTERICAL. I say so. You of course should say, "ditto, ditto, ditto.")

9 Comments:

  • It's three times better than Patrick Swayze in _Ghost_!!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:30 PM  

  • Ha! I didn't even remember that cinematic reference. I think my head is only big enough to contain one Swayzirific line, and it's all about the watermelon.

    By Blogger Brittle, at 11:00 PM  

  • Let it be known that my CANINE SISTER is named Cassie and she rocks the house. A few comments about this Cassie: One, she shamelessly rips off Janet's Pleasure Principle vdeio in her own first vid. AND if you listen to that song, it seems to be about a girl who gives good...well, you get the point. It's not even disguised! Kids these days.

    By Blogger xolondon, at 6:12 AM  

  • Well, I'm just appalled beyond words. I was under the impression that "Me & U" was about Cassie -- "I wanna love you all the way down" -- being good at giving pedicures. I'm calling the church elders.

    By Blogger Brittle, at 11:41 AM  

  • Wait, if that were true, wouldn't the line "Tell me if you like it" come out "Trph mph pf wph lpht"?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:49 AM  

  • You can't hear me, but I'm suffering from sympathy gagging.

    Still, much of Cassie's music goes down easy, etc..

    Somebody stop me.

    By Blogger Brittle, at 6:05 PM  

  • My eyes do NOT roll back in my head when I listen to Cassie. Sorreeee!

    By Blogger xolondon, at 9:21 AM  

  • You're doing it wrong.

    By Blogger Brittle, at 1:01 PM  

  • Hello mmate great blog

    By Anonymous Insect Pest Control Tampa, at 10:18 AM  

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