Axe Riverboy, "Roundabout"/"Carry On" (2007)

Xavier Boyer, lead singer of the wonderful Tahiti 80, has released a solo album, Tutu To Tango. It's a bit more acoustic than his band's work: it lacks the beats of Fosbury, and even the swingin' pop hooks of the first two Tahiti 80 albums. But although the material is much more low-key, its charm emerges after repeated spins. The middle of the album boasts two particularly energetic numbers: the first single "Roundabout" (all faux-heavy metal guitar riffs and stuttering singing), and the cloppy, clappy "Carry On" (all clipped acoustic guitars and characteristic falsetto choruses).

The name he's chosen for the project is Axe Riverboy, which is simply an anagram of his. This is a marvellous idea. I hereby predict a trend:

1. In 2009, Girls Aloud will announce that they are "on temporary hiatus as a group." Nadine Coyle will assume the stage name Annoyed Lice, but sadly her album of big band ballads will fizzle and she will have to recoup her losses by starring in the doubly-inevitable shampoo commercial.

2. Tracey Thorn should have released Out Of The Woods under the moniker The Contrary.

3. New Order may or may not have already broken up. Our grumpy little Barney therefore may or may not re-emerge as a rapper called Unmerry Beans.

4. When The Ark disbands and Ola Salo goes it alone, he will do so as Alas, Loo!, but for some inexplicable reason he will fail to attract much of an audience, except when he plays big outdoor festivals.

5. Eight years from now, Sugababes 19.0 finally call it quits. Heidi has married an oil tycoon and long faded from view, while Keisha is on Big Brother. Amelle endures to the end, but her two final bandmates are such backstabbin' hos that Ms Berrabah decides to call her solo project Abel! Abel! Harmer! Speculation about which of the fourteen bitches she's worked with those three names refer to is beyond rife.

6. Brandon Flowers realizes that his true calling lies in gender illusion cabaret. Ladies and gentlemen, Brandon Flowers is Won-Bra Fondlers.

7. Saint Etienne never break up, but the boys are so busy with their film experiments that Sarah decide on a surprising new career as Her Rascal Clunk. If you guess that her new vocation is "stripping" or "porn," shame on you, but I would almost understand.

8. Róisín! Your solo career is still embryonic! (No one heard Ruby Blue, after all.) It's not too late to re-market your upcoming Overpowered album under a much more pronounceable, much less acutely accented non de plume. How about "In Your Shrimp"?

9. As sad as it is to contemplate, Pet Shop Boys eventually spin off into solo acts. Neil Tennant would be Neat Lent Inn, and the music would of course be austere. Austere Gregorian chants, that is. Chris, on the other hand, would release an album of indie rock under the name Cow Relish.

10. For his solo career, Bono adopts the name God. If you want to be the one to point out to him that, um, that's not an anagram, be my guest, because God WILL fucking strike you dead.